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How to overcome performance anxiety during sex?

Everything you should know about how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

Failure in sexual intercourse is not uncommon. A weaker performance in bed could be attributed to various causes, and the worries about your performance and the sexual expectations of the partner are one of these causes. This sexual anxiety can lead to erectile dysfunction and failure of sexual intercourse. A lot of mental health conditions can lead to this situation. However, treating it is as essential as the treatment of premature ejaculation.

What causes you to become worried about your sexual performance? How can you manage and keep this anxiety from destroying your intimate relationship? Keep reading for the answers.

What causes sexual performance anxiety?

Various causes of sexual performance are noted by health experts. Their presence and intensity vary from person to person. This problem is significant for new couples who are having sex for the first time. For most people, the fear and anxiety disappear with time. But, some may continue to face this problem. Performance anxiety is a complex issue. However, the following factors seem to have a powerful influence;

• Anxiety about your ability to have a good erection and give an enjoyable experience to the partner

• Constant worries about the premature ejaculation

• High social pressure related to performance or the social attitudes about sexual performance

• Problematic relationship

• Worries about your physical appearance, body shape and weight

• Past sexual failures

• Your financial insecurities

• The presence of sexually transmitted diseases

• Smoking, alcoholism and use of illegal drugs

Besides these issues, your mind can also create many more issues. How? The problem with psychological issues is that your mind also takes many problems from the environment that support your worries while ignoring the factors that deny them.

What are the symptoms of performance anxiety?

Before going for management tips, you should identify whether you have this issue or not. The performance anxiety will show some apparent signs and symptoms. These include;

• Inability to get an erection even with a person who appeals to you sexually. It can happen because excessive anxiety can increase the production of stress hormones. These hormones increase blood pressure by narrowing the blood vessels, thus reducing the blood flow toward sexual organs.

• In women, performance anxiety can influence sexual arousal, and such women will not get enough lubricated to enjoy sex.

• A flux of negative thoughts during or before the sex

• Premature ejaculation or an inability to achieve orgasm during sex (delayed ejaculation)

• Lack of interest in sex

• Vaginal dryness in women

• Excessive pain during sex

• Increased heart rate and breathing

• Lack of interest in the partner

If you note these sexual performance anxiety symptoms, you should visit a general physician or psychiatrist who will assess your situation and devise a treatment plan. Performance anxiety can further deteriorate your ability to have sex as you will continue to worry about your impotence unless you receive proper treatment.

How to overcome sexual performance anxiety?

Overcoming sexual performance anxiety requires you to eliminate the causes. Here are some valuable tips that can help you to handle the issue.

Keep yourself up

Mainly, sexual performance anxiety stems from poor psychology. A problem with sexual failure is that a single-time failure can produce enough stress and worry about one's sexual health that you will be concerned about your following intercourse and the vicious cycle goes on.

It is essential to console yourself that sexual failure is not a disease and a few failures will not end your sex life. You should know that occasional failure in sex is not troublesome. It simply means that you have lost to anxiety and some stress. Once this stress is gone, you will enjoy sex as usual.

Try to shift the pressure from yourself to the cause or failure. Instead of blaming yourself, blame the problem, motivate yourself and move ahead.

Focus on your senses

Some men tend to view sex as a game of genitals and this perception leads them to sexual dysfunction and failure. Instead of worrying too much about your inability or sexual expectations of the partner, focus entirely on your senses, e.g., smell, touch, hearing, taste and vision.

Focus away from intercourse and engage yourself with your partner's fragrance, physical beauty, soft touch and voice. Using sexual toys, scented oils and candles, or romantic music can block thoughts of anxiety from your mind.

Have regular exercise

You can have a variety of stresses ranging from social to financial problems. These stresses can lead you to ED and loss of sexual performance. Research has found a link between exercise and stress levels.

For example, a 2014 study found that regular exercise causes a reduction in cellular stress, which in turn improves insulin sensitivity. Even half hour of regular exercise can boost your overall health, reduce stress levels and improve your sexual performance. Regular and healthy sleep will also be helpful.

The exercises known to reduce stress and promote mindfulness (e.g., yoga) can be of enormous help.

Psychological therapy

As performance pressure is mainly related to psychological factors, sex therapy, counselling, image therapy etc. can be helpful. Regularly consulting a psychologist can help to treat sexual performance anxiety and improve your sexual experience.

Find other ways of intimacy

If you are too much worried about your sexual performance, don't rush in a hurry. Many more ways allow you to go intimate without having sexual intercourse. You can have a warm bath together, or you can give a sensual massage to your partner.

Another alternative could be to please each other with masturbation. It will remove the requirement of intercourse for the climax and fulfilment of sexual desire.

Be frank and open with your partner

It will also be helpful to be open to your partner about your worries and anxieties. A good partner can help you to find a solution. As you develop good communication and understanding with your sexual partner, the performance anxiety continues to disappear.

Hiding your difficulties and issues from your partner can be the worst thing to do in this situation, as this will initiate a vicious cycle of events, ultimately leading to further complications.

When it becomes a medical issue?

If all relaxation and lifestyle techniques give no benefit and the situation worsens with time, it is time to visit the doctor. The doctor will ask questions about your mental health, stress levels and signs and symptoms. If necessary, he will go out for physical examination and lab tests to determine the cause of the problem.

After the diagnosis, the doctor will guide you about proper treatment to help you overcome the issue. However, successful recovery and restoration to healthy sex life require a firm commitment on your part. A good partner is, however, expected to help you in the rally.

Medical therapy

The doctor can prescribe the medications after a thorough review of your problem. There is, however, no specific treatment for performance anxiety. The doctor can, however, recommend some drugs, e.g., the medicines used to treat erectile dysfunction (Cialis and Viagra), to improve your sexual desire.

Similar drugs (e.g., Flibanserin) can be prescribed for the female partner to promote sexual desire.

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Conclusion

You can experience sexual performance anxiety due to various reasons ranging from pure psychology to physical and biological issues. The first step is to quit feeling shame and depression and give some time to your relationship. In most cases, the performance anxiety goes away naturally as you begin to adjust with your partner. It happens when the performance anxiety is due to a new sexual partner.

If you have relationship problems with your partner, first resolve these problems. Next, you should give up the fears related to your sexual inadequacy. Instead of worrying about these issues, limit your thoughts to you and your partner.

Good psychological motivation, medical and social help, exercises and professional medical advice can help you escape this situation. Regardless of the cause, this stress can devastate your self-confidence and erode away your ability to perform sexually. You can also use various sexual tools to enrich your sexual encounters. Do whatever you can do to restore your virility because your relationship values more.

At Welzo, we offer many solutions to men's sexual health problems. To learn more about sexual dysfunction in men and its treatment, you are invited to visit our pages by clicking here. You will have a whole world of information waiting for you.