What’s covered?

Before describing why the discussion of a body count in your relationship may arise, it is necessary to first define the term.

A body count is the number of persons with whom you have sexual intercourse. If there was no penetration, it doesn't qualify as sex in this sense, no matter how personal the make-out was or how many things you've done with someone. Body count solely relates to the number of persons with whom you have had penetrative sexual intercourse.

Discussing The Past In A New Partnership

There comes a time in every new relationship when you and your partner talk about the past and make plans for the future, particularly when matters are getting serious.

There are financial as well as sexual dialogues that may take place at this time. The body count inquiry is a topic that may arise and it is fully within your control to reveal the number of people you have has previous sexual relations with.

Allow individuals to reveal it if they so want freely. If they don't, that's OK as well. Do not hassle them about it. You shouldn't be putting any pressure on your partner to reveal their previous sexual activities.

Who a person has slept with in the past should not have any bearing on their position with you. But if you wish to open up the topic of conversation, it could be a way of further understanding each other and allowing a space that is open for honesty and trust.

Why is it asked?

When you think about it, the body count statistics serve no purpose but to pique your interest.

A lot of the time, social dynamics are at play but in reality, a person's body count may simply be their exploration of their sexuality before you, the new partner, entered the picture.

While many cultures and individuals may hold their own beliefs and standards about how many people a person should or should not have slept with, these ideals may be outdated in this modern age. There are many stigmas associated with heterosexual women who have a high body count and another set of stigmas around heterosexual men with perhaps the same body count. Furthermore, this discussion may be completely different for those who don't define themselves as heterosexual and it is still the individual who can decide whether or not to share the information.

Is It Good To Have A Rising Body Count?

As mentioned before, a body count is purely the history of someone's sexual identity and can often be a very informative and powerful journey for people to realise their true selves. Furthermore, the number of people a person has slept with should be discussed when the topic of safe sex and protection occurs. If you or your partner have has previous sexual encounters, you should both discuss if protection was used and if an STI check should be completed before you engage in intercourse yourselves.

If you would like to order a private at-home STI test, view our range here.

Often, an individual may not even be aware they are positive for a sexually-transmitted disease. For example, many men are unaware that they have chlamydia as the symptoms are often hard to detect however, they can pass it on to another who may have more serious symptoms arise.

As a rule of thumb, you and a new partner should have an STI check before you engage in any sexual activity for the first time. It is also important to ensure that there is protection being used by either one or more parties. There are many options for protection nowadays and you can discuss with a healthcare professional which one is right for you.

In conclusion

A body count is information that a person may wish to keep private. Depending on the openness of your relationship or an individual, a person may equate revealing their previous sexual history with discussing their personal medical history. While there is nothing wrong with either a high, average or low body count, there are still unfortunately preconceived notions about what that means depending on age, sexuality, gender or even culture. However, it is important for everyone to understand that a body count has no reflection on you as an individual or your worth, it is purely a number.

Welzo offers a Sexual Health Hub with information, products and testing available, click here to view.

If you would like to learn more about contraception, view our information page here.